"Twilight" Movie Review

I just got back from seeing the movie "Twilight" and like I promised in the comments under my book review on "Twilight" ( Connecticut Catholic Corner: Stephanie Meyer's "Twilight" Series Book Review ) that I would do a review of this long awaited for movie here it is. If you don't want to know what happens, then don't read my review. First to reiterate, I did not dislike the books, I only felt the books were not appropriate for children under 17 and I strongly suggested parents read the book series first before giving it to their children. Aside from that, I believe the books were well written and entertaining if you like fantasy romance. I certainly wanted to know what happened next and how it was all going to work out, so it was a page turner for me. On more than one occasion while reading the entire series, I would look at the clock and say to myself "Just ten more minutes, then I'll go to sleep" only to find that I had read for two more hours instead. (There. That's for all of you who wrote to me saying I didn't say anything good about the books in my review.) :o)
Now, back to the movie...sigh. I don't know when I have been more disappointed in a movie after reading a book than in "Twilight". Some words that popped into my mind while watching the movie: lame...let down...disappointing...crying shame...moronic. Now it's probably not what you are expecting me to gripe about- butchering the story. Usually, we all hate when "a good thing" is messed with. And the basic story of Bella and Edward falling in love and finding a way to beat the odds against them is a good fantasy romance story full of twists and turns to keep you interested. You won't find any of that in the movie. None. Zilch. Nada. We have to expect the book to be butchered to fit a year long story into less than two hours- that's a given. I was OK with that because I was expecting it. What I can't get over...what I am shocked by...is the horrible and I mean HORRIBLE dialog and acting. I was laughing when I shouldn't have been, and so were many others in the theater at the dialog and camera shots. What they did to the character of Edward was...shameful. The director totally missed the mark on this and so did the writers. I am surprised Stephanie Meyer, the book series author, gave her approval to this movie. What was she thinking? I can't tell you how many times I cringed watching this movie.
I have no doubt that many will go see "Twilight", because they love the book, but I also believe they will be hugely disappointed. The biggest and most profound impression that I could NOT shake while watching this entire movie was that these two actors (Kristen Stewart who plays "Bella" and Robert Pattinson who plays "Edward") just could not stand each other. They had no on scene chemistry and I don't mean sexual, I mean working chemistry. They didn't...'fit' with each other at all. They didn't play off each other. I never saw "Bella or Edward" in the film, I saw Kristen and Robert. They never brought out Bella or Edward. The tension and inevitable love found in the book between the characters is devoid in the movie completely. I have liked Pattinson since his role as Cedric in "Harry Potter" and I think he's a good actor. I don't know what happened on this film, he was awful. I have to blame the writers and director because I know the guy can act. His best shot in the movie was standing near Bella's truck pulling out a dent with his super vampire strength and asking her if she'd go meet his vampire family. That was his most believable performance in the movie. It seemed natural and right compared to the rest.
This was supposed to be the beginning of some great true love story and watching the movie I could not even get the impression that Bella and Edward liked each other on any level. There was nothing there. It wasn't just flat performances, it was cold and boring and sometimes almost painful to watch. I've seen better acting on "Sesame Street" than in "Twilight".
The best (if anyone could be called 'best') actor in the entire film was Cam Gigandet who plays "James" the 'bad' vampire who tracks down Bella to kill her. He was believable and gave off the only emotion you could feel in the entire film. The Cullen family, whom Twilight fans have fallen in love with, were portrayed more like zombies than vampires. Their charm and struggle to live among humans was not portrayed on any level. The Cullen family scenes were like a rotten version of "Stepford Wives" or "Invasion of the Body Snatchers". I was wondering where the pods were.
There were only two scenes that I found any enjoyment in at all. The first was Edward driving the Volvo (reverse tail spin was flawless-good stunt driver and nice scene) as he has just rescued Bella from a scary situation with some thugs- it lasted all of ten seconds but it was a good shot. The other was the baseball scene. I have no complaints about that scene at all, good scenery, good music and the characters actually carried it off for the first and only time in the movie. That's the best I can say about "Twilight" the movie.
Should they continue with more "Twilight" movies for each of the books, then I strongly suggest Catherine Hardwicke the director and all the writers should be fired. They destroyed a story that has become well loved among our teens. On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the best I'd be hard pressed to give "Twilight" any more than a 2 rating.
It's really sad when the highlight of going to a movie is seeing previews for other up and coming movies.
As for the PG-13 rating...other than vampires growling and tossing each other around I don't know why it got a "13" tacked on it. I don't recall a single swear in the entire movie. There was one kiss scene but nothing you wouldn't see in regular TV commercials at home. Bella does get a leg wound after being tossed by James the bad vampire and a bite mark on her wrist (he is a vampire after all), but nothing gruesome, she holds up a hand with some blood on it, though her yelling in pain-I suppose someone thought was upsetting, I thought the acting was so bad it was nearly laughable if it wasn't so painful to watch.
This is the biggest movie disappointment I have had in over a decade at least and it wasn't from changing a book story, it was everything else. Now I think I will reread the books just to wipe the movie from my mind and leave it with the story and characters as Meyer created them.