The Biter Bitten

The following is from The Fountain of Catholic Knowledge (copyrighted by Office of Catholic Publications, 1900)... 

  Two young officers, when walking one day in Paris, entered the Church of the Assumption. After having looked at the pictures, the architecture; after having thought of everything excepting God, they were going out, when they perceived a priest wearing a surplice kneeling down close to a confessional. He seemed to be waiting for someone. 

"Look! Do you see that priest?" said one of the young men, laughingly, to his companion. "What is he doing there?" 
"Waiting for you, perhaps," replied the other. 
"Not very probable," answered the first; "but what will you bet that I go up and speak to him?" 
"I bet you will not." 
"And what is more, that I will confess to him?" 
"I bet you will not." 
"I bet that I will. Come, what do you bet?" 
"A good dinner." 
"With champagne?" 
"With champagne." 
"Done!...Agreed!... Wait for me, and watch the manoeuvre." 

    And the foolish young fellow advances boldly to the priest of God. He whispers to him, and he rises immediately, enters the confessional; then the officer goes in at one of the sides and kneels down, just as is always done. 

"Will he ever have the effrontery?" thought the other. And with a smile of admiration on his lips, he sat down to wait for the improvised penitent. 
This went on for about seven or eight minutes, at the end of which he thought the joke had lasted a little too long. At length, after more than a quarter of an hour, the officer rose, came out of the confessional, and left after making a sign to his friend. His face was serious, and he seemed deeply moved. However, he laughed about the adventure with his companion, but would not tell him why he had remained so long. Upon the first excuse he left him and returned home. 

   Two days after, he again entered the Assumption, and, after having prayed for a long time, approached the same confessional where the same priest had just gone in. 

   This time he remained for half an hour; there were tears in his eyes when he came out...Peace and joy were written in his face...He had just received the pardon of his sins...And what was the meaning of all this? and what had happened to him two days before? It happens as follows, and I tell it in the officer's own words: 

   The priest to whom he addressed himself very quickly perceived, by the tone of his penitent, that he was listening to no serious confession. 

"This is all in mockery, monsieur," he said gently, interrupting him. "You are doing wrong; you must not scoff at the things of God nor at His appointed ministers. But I pardon you from my heart, and I pray God to do the same." 

The officer, a little disconcerted, tried to excuse himself. 

"No, no," said the good priest, smiling. "You have done wrong; let us say no more about it. Still, since you have sought me out, allow me to speak to you for a minute, to ask you what you are-what is your calling?" 
"Willingly, father," replied the young man; "I am an officer." 
"Ah! That is a very fine calling. And what is your grade?" 
"I am a sub-lieutenant." 
"And after that what will you become?" 
"I shall be a lieutenant." 
"And afterward?"
"Afterward a captain." 
"And afterward?" 
"A commander; then lieutenant-colonel, then colonel, then general, then lieutenant-general, perhaps." 
"And what age will you be then?" 
"Well, if I have good luck, and if I go to Africa, about forty or forty-five." 
"And do you not intend to marry?" 
"Oh, yes, I shall marry!" 
"Well, then you will become a general and married; and after that what will you become?" 
"After that? Why there is nothing left but the grade of a marshal." 
"And supposing that you should obtain that, what would you do afterward?" 
"Upon my word, I should do nothing more. I should rest with my wife and children." 
"And afterward?" 
"How afterward?" 
The serious tone of the priest troubled the young officer. 
"Ah, well! I shall die afterward." 
"And afterward?" 

The young man shuddered. Of this afterward he never thought. 

"You give me no answer, monsieur." said the confessor gravely. "You are ignorant perhaps, of what will come to pass afterward. You have told me only of what will happen before. But now I will tell you, in my turn, what will happen afterward. After your death, your soul will appear before Jesus Christ, and will be judged, not according to that human glory which will have vanished like a dream, but according to the good or evil it has done. If you have been virtuous, a faithful observer of the laws of God and of His Church; if you have been humble, pure, chaste, just, and merciful to others,-in a word, if you have been a good and faithful Christian, you will be saved, and will enter into the immutable happiness of eternity. If, on the contrary, you have followed the bent of your evil passions; if you have forgotten the services of God; if you have been proud, sensual, negligent, merciless, and unjust,- in a word, if you have not been a true Christian, you will be damned, understand me, monsieur. 
    General, marshal, though you may be, you will be judged by Him who has no respect for persons, and you will hear the thunder of the terrible sentence: 'Depart from Me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels.' Now I have only one word more to say to you. It was no slight offence to come thus to mock me, face to face. I demand some satisfaction which, as a man of honor, you cannot refuse. 
    I demand, understand me,-I demand that during one week, very night before you sleep, you shall think of what I have just said to you, and shall pronounce these words: 'I shall die; but I laugh at it. After my death I shall be judged; but I laugh at it. After my judgment I shall be eternally damned; but I laugh at it.' 
This is the reparation that I exact. Will you give me your word of honor to that you will not fail to grant it?" 

  His penitent, wholly entangled in the snare he had intended for another, dared not refuse. He promised upon his word of honor to do what was asked from him. 

"Go, then, monsieur," said the priest; "I pardon you from my heart, and I promise to remember you before the throne of God." 

    From a sentiment of loyalty and honor, the young officer performed the penance thus imposed. He made no resistance, and two days after his heart changed, and, sincerely repentant, he returned in good earnest to that confessional which he had entered in jest. He has since become an excellent Christian. 

   If we were wise, we should reflect every day upon the shortness of life, and the unchangeable eternity which awaits us; and by means, we too, should become good and faithful Christians." [end, pg 379-382] 

~~~

I highly recommend watching this excellent episode of The Download which speaks of what awaits people in hell...and a few of the sins, especially betrayal that will send a person to hell.

In Christ,


Julie @ Connecticut Catholic Corner 




Link: http://www.churchmilitant.com/news/article/watch-the-full-show-the-downloadhell-and-traitorous-clergy

image: http://sib-catholic.ru/katolicheskomu-svyashhenniku-v-ssha-prishlos-vyislushat-ispoved-pod-dulom-pistoleta/

Follow up on priest who refused to hear confession

By Connecticut Catholic Corner

On July 5^th I wrote about an incident I had with a priest who refused to hear my confession because he felt placing envelopes on the pews was more important.  

****Please read the whole story HERE.

Since that post I have gotten a lot of email asking me if the Bishop responded or did anything.  So here is an update of all that has happened since July 5^th…. 

OK… so after that, I went to confession in another town with a wonderful Capuchin priest who apologized to me on behalf of the angry priest, said the priest should not have behaved that way BUT reminded me we are all human, make mistakes and are in need of forgiveness.

I forgave “Fr.S” for refusing to hear my confession and on the suggestion of the Capuchin priest, began praying for Fr. S whenever I thought of him –especially if I was feeling bitter toward him.

Inside a week I was completely over it.  I had offered it up to Jesus and decided to simply pray for Fr. S as often as I thought of him and I thanked God for Fr. S because he answered the call to the priesthood.  As I mentioned in the original post I had written to Fr. S’s Bishop telling him about the incident and figured if the Bishop had a word with Fr. S it would all be over by now.

So a few weeks later I went to Mass at Fr. S’s parish.  I didn’t think he would remember me, but he did.  As soon as he noticed me sitting in the pew, he made his way over to me.  

Father skipped the greetings and cut right to the chase.

Fr. S:  “Are you still mad at me or have you forgiven me?”

Me: “I forgave you weeks ago Father.”

Fr. S: “Good, that is all that matters.”

And Father walked away not once apologizing to me.  I took a deep breath and offered it up to Jesus all during Mass.

A month later, once more at one of Fr. S’s Masses, Father approached me again.

“Can we talk after Mass?” he asked.

“Sure.” I said completely baffled as to why this priest would want to talk to me.  I thought everything was over and done with.

I was wrong.

After Mass I remained in my pew as the parish emptied.  Father finished shaking hands with people and asked me to wait while he removed his vestments.  Once he returned he surprised me again, by saying “Let’s go to my office.”

Now I was really baffled…why would this priest need to talk to me in his office?

We left the church and walked across the parking lot to the rectory house not saying a single word.  He led the way to his office closing all the doors once we were inside (there were 3) and stood over me in a peculiar manner- like he wanted to intimidate me.  Just staring at me- I think he was expecting me to cower.  Honestly... That is the impression I got.  

Other women will probably know what I am talking about if they've ever met a man or had a boss who thought his mere size and authority could cower a woman.  It's a thing some men do and women hate it.  

Had he closed all those doors to intimidate me?  To keep anyone from possibly hearing what was about to go down?

Unfortunately for this priest I am not a woman who cowers. 

I stared right back at him wondering if I was in some bizarre dream. I simply couldn't figure out his behavior, his asking me to his office, closing all those doors like we were in a bank vault or his staring at me like he was sizing me up!  

It was weird and I was wishing very much I had not agreed to talk with him after Mass.  I just wanted to get home and forget about this very strange priest.

Then his face changed and I could see the anger.  This man was angry.

“So, you wrote to my Bishop about me?”  He said leaning across his desk staring me down.

“Yes.”

“What happened between us was between us and should not have involved the Bishop.”  He said.

I got ticked.  I’ve got a short fuse with people (even priests) who attempt to bully me and this priest was doing just that.

“No it wasn’t.  When a priest refuses someone the Sacraments without valid reason it is something his Bishop should know about.”

"You shouldn't have brought the Bishop into this." He insisted.

"You and I and the Bishop all know you were wrong to refuse me the Sacrament of Confession when you had 45 minutes before Mass.  You have to know the Sacraments are more important than placing envelopes on pews."

"I was making up for someone else's lack..."

I interrupted him here... "Yes, I know already.  Someone else was supposed to put the envelopes on the pews and they didn't.  That has nothing to do with your priorities as a priest and you know it Father."

He knew it, but he refused to acknowledge that he did anything wrong.

"There were other witnesses there..."  He let that dangle as if the witnesses would back him up.

"Yes Father and I know one of them very well."

We exchanged more words (I won't give all the details but to be clear, this priest was MAD and he wasn't holding back) mostly him accusing me of being unfair to him by telling the Bishop what happened.  On and on and on- back and forth and back and forth until I think he realized I wouldn’t be intimidated and then (I SWEAR TO YOU) he changed tactics.  I could see it in his face- it was like flicking a light switch.

“Well…I just wanted us to clear the air and apologize.”  He smiled at me then, but it didn't reach his eyes.  His eyes were still glaring at me from across his desk.

I noticed the “us” and “apologize” was lacking any apology from him to me.  After all, he is the one who was in the wrong for refusing to hear my confession.  All I did was walk out and tell the Bishop.  I honestly don’t see anything I need to apologize for.  And I wasn't really buying his version of an apology- I think the Bishop told him to apologize to me and Fr. S was just about choking on the words.

“I thought we had already cleared the air weeks ago.”  I said and I truly believed we had.

Silence.

He just kept sitting there staring at me across his massive oak desk.

He STILL wasn’t done with me.  

We’ve now been in his office for TWENTY MINUTES going back and forth over what I thought was old news and forgiven weeks ago.  When I went to Mass that day I had no hard feelings toward this priest.  I was completely over the whole thing.  I truly had forgiven him and moved on.

  

He clearly wasn’t having it.

He changed tactics again.  This time he was trying to guilt trip me by telling me I was evil.  I kid you not.

“So you came to me for Confession and do you know what happened?”

“Yes, nothing because you refused to hear my Confession.”

“No.  Evil entered you!”  He said leaning toward me across his desk.

“What?!”  I thought my ears were playing tricks on me.  I couldn't - I honestly could NOT believe what he was saying to me.  It was crazy!  I was beginning to think HE was crazy.  I'm still not sure that he isn't crazy!

“You came for Confession, you were supposed to be humble and seeking forgiveness and the moment you did not hear what you wanted you got angry and evil entered into you!”

At this point I honestly almost laughed but he was completely serious and VERY angry.

“Father it was you who was angry that day, I was merely shocked and hurt at your refusal to hear my confession.  My anger came hours later when the shock began to wear off.”

At that he leaned back in his high back desk chair and stared at me again.

I waited, but was nearing the end of my tolerance for this priest.

His tactic changed again.

“Well, I just want you to know that I don’t hold any hard feelings toward you.”

Seriously… he believes that HE was the victim in this situation?

That was it.  I was DONE.  Biting my tongue to keep from saying anything I would regret I got up to end this verbal battle.

“Good to know, are we finished Father?”  I asked looking at him across his desk.

“I guess we are at a stalemate then.”  He said to me.

I turned my back on him and walked to the door.

“If that is how you wish to see it…” and I walked out with him right on my heels.  In complete silence we walked down the hall to the front door.  I left without so much as a goodbye between us.

So once again, I leave Fr. S feeling completely shocked and stunned by this priest.

I have never met a priest with such anger and hostility.

And apparently it isn’t just me.

I kept quiet about it for a week while I prayed about it and wondered if I should just let it go, or let the Bishop know things didn’t go so well.  I decided to seek a second opinion from a trusted Catholic friend who didn’t know the priest any better than I had until this happened.  

Unfortunately she herself had witnessed him yelling at an elderly volunteer woman who was cleaning the welcome mat at the parish office by beating it on the stairs.  He shouted out his office window at her to “STOP THAT and do it somewhere else” then slammed the window closed.

I am glad I didn’t see him talk to her like that because I would not have been able to keep silent.  

So it isn’t just me who has been on the receiving end of his anger.  At this point, I have decided to do nothing else except pray for him.  He’s got serious issues and lots of anger.  Should he and I have any future problems I will without hesitation write to the Bishop again.

But from what I know now… I imagine the Bishop will be hearing from other people about Fr. S very soon- once they get over his intimidation.

I am very interested in hearing how my readers would have handled this situation.

Please leave your comments or drop me an email.

Have you ever had anything like this happen to you?  What did you do?

In Christ,

Julie @ Connecticut Catholic Corner

P.S. And to those of you who would suggest I simply never go back to that parish... well I have friends there and sometimes because of all the "yoked" parishes around here, his parish Mass times are better than others.  Besides, I am not a woman to cower or run away because of one wayward priest.  Like him or not, the Sacraments are still valid because he is a Catholic priest.   I will never again go to him for Confession- I know that for sure- but Mass is a different story.

Link to original post: http://connecticutcatholiccorner.blogspot.com/2014/07/priest-refuses-sacrament-of-confession.html

Priest refuses Sacrament of Confession

As I’ve mentioned before on my blog, my own parish is now yoked with another parish so many things have changed for us.  My parish no longer offers a Saturday Vigil Mass or Confession on Saturdays – the only time you can have confession at my parish is to set up an appointment during the week.

Well, I didn’t get around to setting up an appointment this week, so this afternoon I drove to another town where I have occasionally attended Mass and gone to Confession on Saturdays.  Today when I arrived at this parish at 3 pm (Mass is at 4 pm), the priest was in the confessional with someone, but no one else was waiting.  So I was next.

I prayed for a good while before the confessional opened up and out walked a friend of mine, we greeted each other briefly as he went on to sit in another pew.  The priest, (I’ll call “Father S”) walked out behind my friend, nodded at me waiting for confession and then walked passed me.

So I prayed a bit more and waited for “Father S” to return to the confessional.

He did not.

When I looked around I found Father placing pink envelopes on pew seats.  I watched him for a moment, and then noted the clock reading 3:15 pm.  Since I’d been at this parish before, I know there is a rosary at 3:30pm led by a deacon so that confessions continue until 3:45 pm.  Still plenty of time for my confession I thought.

Thinking perhaps Father didn’t know I was sitting near the Confessional because I was waiting for Confession I said, “Father will you hear my confession?”

Father said, “No!”

I said “Excuse me?” I was sure I had misunderstood him.

There were three other parishioners sitting in the pews who looked just as stunned as I felt.

Father (slapping down pink envelopes on pews) said “No, I cannot hear any more confessions today because SOMEBODY didn’t do their job so now I have to do it.”

I was stunned.  I didn’t respond for a moment as he continued making his way from pew to pew placing pink envelopes on the seats.

At this point, I see my friend who had just left the confessional go over to assist Father with his envelopes – my guess is my friend was offering his services so that Father could hear my Confession, but it didn’t work.  Father would not stop placing pink envelopes on pews, even with someone else offering to do it.

I tried again, “So you won’t hear my confession?”

Again, he said “No, I have to do someone else’s job because they didn’t do what they were supposed to do.  This is what happens when people don’t do their job.”

I nodded at him, not knowing what to say, knelt before the Tabernacle, crossed myself and made my way toward the door still not believing that a priest would refuse to hear someone’s confession.

On my way out, Father called after me, “I will hear your confession AFTER Mass.”

‘After Mass’? I wasn't there for Mass (I attend at my own parish on Sunday), I was there solely for Confession.

I walked out shocked that a priest would CHOOSE to place envelopes on pews rather than hear a person’s confession.  He was clearly angry at someone for not placing the pink envelopes in the pews, but to take that anger out on someone wanting and waiting for the Sacrament of Confession is just unbelievable to me.

It's hours later and I am still in disbelief with what happened.

Shouldn't a Sacrament be a priority over envelopes? 

What sort of priest refuses a Sacrament to someone in order to place envelopes on pews?  He still had a half an hour of time to be hearing Confessions and he had 45 minutes before Mass was to begin. I can think of no excuse for his behavior.

Stunned, I got in my car, drove home and wrote a detailed letter to his Bishop telling exactly what happened.

I am not sure what the issue is with this particular diocese but if you recall me telling another nightmare Confessional story about this year’s Holy Week when another priest in another parish (same diocese) was texting while hearing confessions.

What is going on?

I did not write to the Bishop that time- I probably should have.  Many of my readers told me I should but I let it go.  Now that this has happened again… I am not letting it go.  The Bishop needs to do something about this so that it does not continue. 

I hope I hear back from the Bishop (I gave him my name, email and phone number), and an apology from the priest would be nice too.

In Christ,

Julie @ Connecticut Catholic Corner

Priest on cell phone while hearing confessions...

Yeah, you heard that right.

On Monday night, my children and I went to a local parish for Confession. There were two women before us and soon after our arrival several other people came in. When our turn came I went in first and everything was as usual- not so for my children. 

My youngest went right after me and after a few moments everyone in the pews could hear a cell phone going off.  I didn’t pay much attention to it because I thought it was coming from downstairs in the parish hall, but when my daughter came out her eyes were huge and she gave me ‘that look’ and whispered “Did you hear the cell phone?”

I nodded and shushed her, but she continued, “Father’s cell phone went off when I was confessing and I didn’t know if I should keep talking or let him finish with his call.”

My mouth dropped open.

I simply could not believe a priest would bother taking his cell phone into the Confessional with him, but since I had just confessed my own sins I didn’t want to create new ones by getting angry about it.  I shrugged it off as “He must have forgotten to turn it off” and I let it go.

My eldest daughter went in, came out, prayed and we all left the parish.  Once in the car, my youngest brought up the cell phone ringing during her confession and my eldest responded, “You think that is bad, Father was TEXTING during my confession.”

I hit the breaks on the car and turned around with a “WHAT?”

“Yeah,” she said, “I was confessing and I could see him through the screen texting on his phone the whole time.  I don’t think he really heard anything I said, he just kept mumbling “ahem, yep” and stuff like that.”

I was appalled and very, very disappointed in this priest whom I have known for a few years now and had never seen such behavior from him.

When I voiced my unhappiness at what he’d done, my oldest (always a glass half full girl) said “Don’t worry Mom, maybe he was just multi-tasking, he is busy you know.”

My youngest pipes up “Yeah, it could have been an emergency phone call  too.”

Multi-tasking?  Emergency cell phone calls in the Confessional?

In my opinion, there is NO good reason for ANY priest hearing confessions to be taking phone calls or texting people.  It's just wrong and I am considering writing to his Bishop about it.

Is this the best our clergy can offer us these days?  Is this what we want to teach the next generation about the Sacrament of Reconciliation and the Confessional?

In Christ,

Julie @ Connecticut Catholic Corner


UPDATE:
A few things...

1) This is a GOOD PRIEST who did something he shouldn't.  It was a mistake, that doesn't make him a horrid priest, just a human one who made a bad choice.  Pray for him and others like him.

2) A forum discussion from Catholic Answers in 2010 was brought to my attention and I HIGHLY RECOMMEND EVERY CATHOLIC LISTEN TO THIS:

http://www.romans10seventeen.org/audio-files/20070930-No-cellphones-in-the-Confessional-Healing-and-making-our-souls-new-in-Christ.mp3

links:
http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=459158

http://www.audiosancto.org/sermon/20070930-No-cellphones-in-the-Confessional-Healing-and-making-our-souls-new-in-Christ.html

http://www.romans10seventeen.org/audio-files/20070930-No-cellphones-in-the-Confessional-Healing-and-making-our-souls-new-in-Christ.mp3